The smell of the kitchen

Early this morning Grandma Crawford left for the USA. All the kids (and us) are sad, although we know we'll head to the USA sometime in the next 6 months for visa renewals. Lukas was the most weepy and had a meltdown at the breakfast table. After we realized what the quivering lip was all about and talked about a future trip on an airplane, he cheered up.

When Kathy comes, she bakes. It is absolutely a treat since baked goods available for purchase are sooooo different here. A few of the things she made:

Cinnamon rolls (with raisens and without)
Apple pie
Zucchini-carrot bread
Oatmeal squares
Donuts (glazed cake type)
Multiple kinds of pancakes
Crepes (actually Dutch pancakes) with cinnamon apple toppings
Chocolate cake
Blueberry-apple pie
"Christmas" cookies

And all from scratch, people! In a hot climate, cooking in a hot kitchen is an act of love. Thanks, Kathy!

Bella Kathryn

Crib ID.

Meeting her brothers and big sister.

9 lbs, 8 ounces. 8:44 pm., April 6th.

 

All I can do is laugh... It's a girl!!!

Not Enough

Lots going on here. Got my leg brace off on Saturday (ACL is healing nicely). Enjoyed historic moment when India won Cricket World Cup on Saturday night and the resulting fireworks made my boys cry (temporarily). Shane survived a scary incident with a live wire and pliers. Our yard continues to attack Lukas (welts/hives from mystery allergy or perhaps insects). And baby #4 refuses to arrive; current plan is to induce on Wednesday.

But I wanted to write about something painful I've noticed. I grew up in a place that said: if there's not enough, we'll make more. As in, if we run out of apple pie, we'll make more. If there's not enough money in my account, there must be a way to earn more. If a store runs out of an item, there will be a nearby store that carries the same item for a little more money.

But here, and in many developing economies, people remember. There was a time in the not so distant past when there was not enough. When the rice was gone, there was no more rice and people died. When the gasoline ran out, the cars and motorcycles simply sat on the side of the road. When the money ran out, there were no loans available or second, part-time jobs.

Actually, since moving to Hyderabad about 5 years ago, there has been at least twice when there was a gasoline shortage for over a week. Many times when water for bathing/washing simple wasn't available for several days (both the well at our house was dry and the city stopped delivering water). And there have been many, many times when the electricity is simply turned off without an announcement and, soon, the batteries run down.

The results can be good. No electricity means children adjust to lukewarm gas-stove heated milk instead of microwave heated milk. We take baths by candlelight. Sometimes people with more will share. Overall, we adapt and don't get complacent.

The tough thing is that people who have experienced "not enough" instinctively fight for more. They might fight even when there is plenty to go around. For example, the space on the road is limited and there is no mercy for pedestrians or cars with too great a following distance. Or, although seats are assigned on a flight, people scramble to be first inside. Seeing the desparation and lack of grace that comes from believing there is "not enough" in the world is distrurbing, but understandable. Showing grace in the midst of agressive posturing is tiring but important.

Babysitter paradise

Grandma Crawford has been here just over a month. She is obviously much, much more than a babysitter! But, a small benefit of her visit is the easy childcare situtation that has allowed Libby and I several adventures in the last few weeks. Btw, I suppose it is possible to find babysitters here...there are a few fellow Americans we could ask and a few Indians who understand our culture well enough to come over for an evening. But it is difficult and the culture generally doesn't have a tradition of babysitters...it is almost always relatives who live with you and help out (or a maid that you hire to live with you).

Anyway, I've really enjoyed: an anniversary dinner with Libby at the new, funky, five-star The Park hotel on the edge of the lake; an anniversary breakfast at a new Indian restaurant nearby (yes, we celebrated our 7th anniversary twice); going with Libby to her last doctor(s) appointments; and several other outtings.

These outings...and the fact that there have been so many of them (almost weekly) has been a huge treat for us. They couldn't have come at a better time since life has been draining with hot climate, civil unrest worries, challenges for me at work, and, in general, trying to keep up with three little kids while preparing for a fourth. So, thanks Grandma!

Burgers, big boy beds, and other random news

It's been two weeks since the surgery on my right knee. Got the staples out last Thursday, had the courage to watch the DVD (recorded from arthroscopic camera), and still have some achy-ness. Today I tried driving to work...a challenge with the leg brace, but possible.

There's been some big family news. Libby took her last TB pills on Friday then saw doctors on Saturday who think baby #4 will join us in the next two weeks. Then Saturday afternoon we borrowed another bed and moved furniture in all the bedrooms. Lukas is now sleeping in a 'big boy bed' with siderails and he's quite proud. He's done good during the first two nights, using his pillow and "blanket" (a sheet) and not coming out until 6:30am. Asha likes the cot she inherited from Lukas although she's clearly noticed the change and mumbles for a few minutes before falling asleep.

The weather is finally hot. Was nice that this year, for some reason, it stayed cool through February. No deep thoughts today. Just happy to have a healthy family...and the help of my mother-in-law at our house. In fact, she did child care on Sunday which allowed Libby and I to go on a date to a shopping mall and get a great lunch at Hard Rock Cafe! I had my second REAL BEEF burger in the space of a week. Yeah!! A real treat since I only eat beef about once every six months.

Recovering from surgery

I woke up around 6pm last Thursday with that pleasant, woozy feeling that is produced by wonderful medical chemicals. My knee surgery lasted about 3 hours and they found four problems (including 2 unanticipated) to fix. But at the time, all I knew was three things:
1. I was cold and couldn't get my voice to work (to summon nurses) or hands (to pull up the blanket). I lay there shivering.
2. I couldn't unclench my jaw. (Perhaps related to being too cold?)
3. I was having trouble breathing. Luckily a mask helped me take some deep breaths...and I thought about various fishing trips with my dad to calm my mind.

It was a good experience. Makes you feel deeply the lack of control and the fragility of the body. The hospital staff were good and I was back in my room by 7pm (surgery started around 1pm). Went home the next evening. Enjoyed several days of good sleep. A week later, there is little pain in the knee although I have to keep the brace on for 5 more weeks.

The boys are a little perturbed that I can't swing them around like normal or climb up to the roof. They do like the 'robot' leg and have requested me to get them some. Asha has started standing up a lot and continues to use her two words: "dadadadada" and "mamamamama". I'm not supposed to lift things, but I'm making a small exception for my baby girl! Needless to say, Libby is tired since she's in the last month of the pregnancy and we're both VERY grateful that her mom arrived last week to take care of all of us.

Silence means...

Usually silence on a blog like this means one of several things:
Increased busyness
More stress
Sick kids

In my case, it is all three. But the good news is that tomorrow is a long-planned ACL (knee) surgery. When you're the father of several small kids, the only real way to take a vacation is to schedule a surgery. Although I'm not looking forward to the pain and rehab, I'm very much looking forward to being put to sleep and having nothing to do in the hospital for two days.

Neighborhood DJ

I returned from a tiring but welcomed trip to rural India last weekend. It was good to be reminded of the challenges of 75% of India's citizens. The classic moment was when we were told to detour by police at a checkpost. Apparently, some villagers were blocking the road ahead because they want the road improved so that it will be ranked as a national highway.

This morning the annual celebration for a local temple began. They hook up loudspeakers to electricity poles throughout the neighborhood and broadcast a live singing session from 7am-10pm. The chanting is interesting at first, although a bit loud. After a while it either becomes white noise or a grinding headache. It depends on the quality of the musicians and the volume that the guy at the sound board chooses. It lasts for a few days. I wonder how it will turn out this year?

Shashi Tharoor, former top UN official and now a politician inside India, often observes that religion is anything but private here. Here is my favorite article on the topic of general noise levels in India.

Sick kids and tile floors: good combo

The last week was tiring and not fun. For the first (but probably not last) time, all three kids had liquids coming out both ends...at the same time. The good news is that there are few carpets in India and none in our house. The three rugs were put away quickly. All of which made cleaning up a lot easier than it would have been in the USA!

To make matters worse, I got sick on Thursday and am now taking two anti-biotics but feeling better and, most important, able to help Libby. The kids are much better after about 5 days of illness. Another silver lining to the cloud? Sick, lethargic kids don't have energy to fight with each other and like to cuddle more than normal. Ah, yes, hidden blessings, but I'm still happy we're getting healthy again.

What I passed on the National Highway

On my way to the office, I drive on National Highway 7 for about 10 minutes. This morning was a typical morning. I passed the normal collection of amazing, unpredictable things that, after 5 years, seem normal. But fun to record them:

• 8 water buffalo wandering without a guide (presumably on the way to pasture)
• 2 camels with riders heading into town (probably to give rides at a wedding)
• a flower cart (was definitely going below the speed limit)
• bridge that's been under construction for 9 years (!)
• our post office - colonial building with delightful staff and periodic electricity
• several dhabas (essentially truck stops; these are restaurants with outdoor seating, huge portions, and great prices)
• lots of garbage dumped along the road - including coconut shells which, when it rains, will float onto the road and make it exciting for two-wheelers!
• fruit stands
• Army base with a basketball court
• and much more.

Some commutes, like anywhere in the world, are frustrating when there's bad traffic. But today was pleasant. Sunny skies and temps in the 70s F. Freedom on the motorcycle to weave in and out of traffic. Lots of things for the eye to behold!

Swept your dirt or roof lately?

One of the strangely satisfying parts of my holiday was sweeping our roof and front yard. The roof is flat with a railing so it is one of the few big open places for the kids to run around. Unfortunately, cats and birds leave their calling cards occasionally and somehow there were tons of little rocks up there which are hard on little bare feet. All clean now.

Also, our front yard (about 10x6 feet) is packed dirt. The falling leaves and sticks from overhanging trees need to be cleaned, so I sweep the dirt bi-weekly. Feels weird sweeping the dirt (not sweeping up dirt)! But looks clean afterwards and reduces the debris in which mosquitoes and other critters hide.

Next weekend, I'll get some gardeners from our partner org to come by for a few hours. They do the big work of weeding, trimming the plants, and sweeping the concert around the entire house. The price is right: about $2 an hour.

Clapping and crying: new developments...kinda

About a week ago, Asha started clapping. It is fun to see her full smile (with wrinkled brow and squinted eyes) as she claps.

Lukas is at a point where he doesn't want anything in his crib. We recall something similar with Shane. There is lots of crying at bedtime and a fear of the dark. But having Shane in the same room is helpful since he's a good example to his little brother of staying quiet and in bed!

At some point in the next few weeks we need to move Lukas from his crib to a bed. This is so that Asha can shift from her travel cot to the crib. All this allows the new baby to go into the travel cot. Should be a challenge since Lukas is a little more strong willed than Shane and likely to jump out of his bed more!

Don't think we mentioned this anywhere, but when we returned to India in mid-Sept, Shane started taking a stuffed cat (which came with book "If you give a cat a cupcake") to bed. Then he added a heffalump. Shane instructed Lukas to take a tan kitty (gifted at an IDEAS conference) to bed...and Lukas eventually added a moose (which came with book "If you give a moose a muffin). Anyway, apparently Lukas is now old enough and is excising his independent decision making powers.

Grateful in the New Year

First, I'm grateful for 2011 since 2010 was a bit rough. But, second, and more important I'm thankful for several events in 2010 that were divine or answers to prayer. A lot in life could be attributed to happenstance, but a few things are so beyond our control that they are surely Divine. I never want to forget the four following answers to prayer which happened during Libby's struggle with tuburculosis.

1. Just before boarding the plane back to the USA, a long-time friend with a relatively new job offered to help us. Her job? She works with doctors that jointly see patients with possible infectious diseases in their limbs! Exactly the experts we needed to see since Libby's infection was in her left leg. And appointments that usually takes weeks to get were made within 48 hours.
2. The surgeon in USA called in his buddy -- a cancer specialist -- to help with the surgery. Due to their combined skills, they didn't have to extend Libby's incision from previous surgery and took a successful biopsy.
3. During each surgery and then, after the TB meds started, Libby had to stop breastfeeding. But Asha never missed a beat and the transition to a bottle was seamless.
4. Libby never had a reaction or any sideaffects to the massive amounts of medicines (first, via IV for a suspected tropical disease and, later, for TB).

I'm grateful beyond words.

The Fifth Mosquito Battle Plan

Every morning our boys wake up with 5-8 new mosquito bites this time of year. It doesn't really bother them, but it bothers us. In a country where windows and door are not made to seal tight, it is difficult to prevent the blood eaters from getting in the house. We do have screens on the windows, but...

The first battle plan was little plastic circles which adhere to furniture and are soaked in some anti-mossy repellent. Didn't work. Then we put mossy repellent/lotion on the kids (both standard stuff as well as lavender extract spray). Must have worn off part-way thru the night because it didn't work. Third, we tried a plug-in thingy that burns some liquid that kills the mossys in the room. We tried blocking gaps around the door with foam in combo with an electric racquet (powered by rechargeable batteries) which we used to kill any invaders. Fourth, I spent an afternoon treating the curtains with permethrin -- a nasty chemical which kills any insect which touches the treated fabric. The mossys often hide in the curtains, but they seem to still be in the room and just hiding elsewhere now.

Now I'm planning a fifth strategy: use all five methods at once. Sigh.

By the way, Asha is generally okay because there is a net around her cot. A few still get in occasionally. The good news is that there are only a few months of the year with a lot of mosquitoes. But for this season the motto is: Give Blood. Live in India.

India's unique cities

We just returned from a four day visit to Calcutta (or, officially, Kolkata). We stayed with Indian friends that Libby met 10 years ago while working with street kids and recovering drug addicts. We met kids that have grown up, married, and have jobs at multi-national companies. And others who are still struggling to get by with three good meals a day.

It was refreshing. And exhausting. Although the flight is only two hours, traveling thru pushing/shoving crowds and multiple security checks with three small kids and pregnant wife...

But mostly, we enjoyed seeing the differences in Calcutta. The streets are narrow (a remnant of British planning, I'm told). There seems to be more of a bustle in the air. Cars are a bit older. And there are many other small differneces which catch your attention and excercise your senses.

I'll never forget the green, lazy, grand feeling of Chennai. The wild-west, dusty feel of Ahmedabad. The sophisticated but grid-locked feel of Bangalore (now renamed Bengaluru). The appearance of power, influence, and Western development in Delhi. And the humid chaos that is Mumbai.

India's diversity is amazing, but in the middle of all that it is the people that matter. Our boys can't stop talking about their new "didis" (sisters) who played with them in Calcutta for hours on a lovely patch of grass between high rise apartments. We're grateful for renewing old friendships and the gifts of hospitality that we can never repay.

It can't be Christmas

Sunny days. Cool temperatures in mid 60s F. Few Christmas decorations in stores.

In many ways, life in India is nice this time of year. But, on the other hand, we have to find the inner energy to make Christmas memories and the discipline to order online gifts for family and friends back in the USA.

I think we've delayed buying gifts a little too long this year and some packages may not arrive until after Christmas since I'm unwilling to pay exorbindant "rush" postage fees. The season just snuck up on us.

But Libby has been great in making some memories. We're reading "The Advent Book" given to us by wonderful relatives last year; a door a day for the kids to open and learn about Jesus. Yesterday, Libby and the boys make great cookies. And a few days ago we finally put up the (plastic) Christmas tree, nativity scene, and a few random decorations around the house.

Simple but nice. That will be our Christmas.

65 degrees...and freezing

Yep, it has finally become winter in India. With a little rain and cloudy skies today, the temperature finally dipped below 70F. And without ANY heating in any room, it is -- hard to believe I know -- freezing inside our house.

Concrete construction means the cold seeps thru your bones. The day doesn't bring warmth. I can finally wear jeans and a t-shirt without sweating. I love it.

This will last about 6-8 weeks. Time to open up our storage boxes and find our socks. I'm actually wearing shoes (instead of sandals) to the office. It is great.

On the other, sobering hand...many homeless people across India will die in the next few weeks. The cold is just too much. Their poverty means no shelter or no firewood to burn. We have much to be thankful for.

Phrase of the day

Lots of silence on this blog. Usually, silence means lots of challenges in daily life. The last few months have been full of readjusting to life in India. However, we've enjoyed a lot of laughter as well. I'll try to do more short entries about fun, small happenings.

Shane's phrase of the day a few weeks ago was "I love Lightening The Queen" while referring to the star of the animated Cars movie "Lightening McQueen".

Then Lukas kept lumbering around the house while saying several times a day, "I'm big, I'm bad, and I want you!!" We think it is a phrase he heard in a children's video about the three pigs fairy tale, but who knows?

Oh, and Shane has thrown out "mommy" and "daddy" in favor of "mom" and "dad" in the last few days. Fun!

Camp Morrow song

Shane especially enjoyed Camp Morrow (an annual gathering of friends who grew up with me in Hood River; we rent a camp in eastern Oregon over Labor Day). It was his 3rd time to attend in 4 years, something that we never thought possible given life in India. This time he slept on a bunk bed for the first time in his life and played some great mini-golf. He also won a "snickers" award for composing a song about Camp Morrow. This song came out of the blue soon after he was given a toy guitar in July. Enjoy!

Favorite USA foods

Living overseas you learn to enjoy the local foods. And I do really love several Indian dishes! But being back in the USA, I've realized there are many great dishes and foods that I'd forgotten. Shane is in love with pancakes and popsicles. Of course, Lukas still eats anything and Asha just started solids last week.

As for me, here is a partial list of foods that I'll miss when we return to India in about a month:

• tortilla chips (Juanita's!), sour cream, and salsa (Penny's)
• brownies
• peanut butter filled pretzels
• yogurt covered pretzels and chocolate covered pretzels
• bagels and English muffins for breakfast
• baklava
• cake batter ice cream (and all the other crazy flavors from Tillamook)
• root beer
• carrot cake
• pumpkin pie
• meat loaf (with beef, of course)
• lasagna

Of course, it is possible to buy or make some of these foods overseas, but they sure are more common and easier to make/find here. The next few weeks will be full of eating for me!