Okay, so those topics don't really go together...or I suppose they could. But anyway, just wanted to share a couple of interesting links.
First, here are the two places that, with some help from family and great off-season prices, we'll be resting over the next six days. Two nights at the south end of Kerala in The Leela and then three nights at the Kumarakom Lake Resort (including a night on an air-conditioned houseboat with private chef included). This year we've used only four days of our alloted vacation time, so this will be a nice way to use a little more.
Second, I was browsing through our partner org's library the other day. The cover story for the August edition of Christianity Today caught my eye:
The Case for Kids: A defense of the large family by a 'six-time breeder.'
by Leslie Leyland Fields
Among other things, I appreciate her thoughts on the most basic question...not just "how many kids should we have", but "why have kids?" Check out this quote:
"So why do we have children at all? So much is against the whole enterprise. Children cost too much money. They cost too much of ourselves. Children undo us. They show us how much and how little we're made of. They come, it often seems, only to break our hearts. And we let them. We invite it all. We admit perfect strangers through our doors and decide before we even know who they are to love them wildly, without condition, for as long as we live.
How do we account for this behavior? In the end, it is possible that our desire for children is a longing not to benefit ourselves, but to sacrifice ourselves; not to replicate ourselves, but to escape ourselves. For me, this longing hit at 28, while I was tunneling into the heart of the Congo on the back of an expedition truck. Suddenly, I was unutterably weary with my own small life and my endless requirements for fulfillment. I wanted the freedom to give my life away. I wanted an intimate, lifelong, indissoluble relationship with others, the kind of life that simultaneously sucks you dry and sustains you."
Interesting, huh? I tend to agree with her in an amazed, shaking-because-it's-coming kind of way. We'd love to read your thoughts. Especially from those with kids, but from others as well!
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Vacation and Family Planning
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4 comments:
Libby and Ben,
I'd have to say what the author said is true. Having kids is one of the most profound things I've ever done in my life--and in some ways, the hardest. I have been confronted with my weaknesses over and over again, and challenged to grow in areas I hadn't seen before. The joys have been the greatest also. Sometimes I just sit and watch my children and am amazed. Each one is a different "flavor" (that's the term I use). No two are alike, but I totally enjoy each one and find delight in who they are. Oh, and preganacy and giving birth is amazing. You will be so impressed with how you're made and the miracle of it all--nothing tops that moment when you meet your baby for the first time face to face. I'm thrilled for you! And if you couldn't tell, I love being a mom. Parenting has it's challenges, but it is all part of that refining process! I wouldn't give it up for the world! Blessings on you both!
The author said "We admit perfect strangers through our doors and decide before we even know who they are to love them wildly, without condition, for as long as we live."
SO TRUE! I marveled at that almost daily when I was pregnant. But seriously, unexpectedly, the moment Asher was born he ceased to be a stranger and became the number one person I want to be with...
Having a baby is a trip, Libs, in all the best ways! Its mindblowing to contemplate the miracle of pregnacy, the birthing process, and the little life that steals your heart. Mindblowing to contemplate how very difficult it is, and yet how you rise to the challenge again and again, even when you are certain you cannot.
Have I mentioned how excited I am for you?
"Suddenly, I was unutterably weary with my own small life and my endless requirements for fulfillment."
I feel quite unqualified to contribute ideas about what it is like to start a family. But the above quote sums up one of my reasons for starting on the course.
PS. I love the subtitle of The Leela Resort. "The essense of India". The rooms look really cool. Have fun!
Libby and Ben -- I heard something like this: "Having children is allowing your heart to walk around outside of your body." They own you heart and soul--through all ages!!! This extends to grandchildren as well!
Much Love, (a 4xBlessed Nana) Linda Parmley
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